Shift your language in 3 easy steps to avoid misunderstandings.
- Jakob Hysek
- Jul 28
- 3 min read
We often don't mean any harm, yet we still end up hurting others or attacking them without realizing it.
With three simple adjustments, you can change the way you speak and communicate to avoid misunderstandings, unintentional accusations, or even insults.
The three shifts are:
Instead of truth, shift to perception.
Instead of intentions, shift to impact.
Instead of blame, shift to contribution.
Exercise - Shift your language in 3 easy steps:
Use the following worksheet to take your time reviewing the three ways to adjust your language—and maybe even hang it up in a prominent spot so you can communicate more clearly, step by step:
From Truth to Perception
Instead of focusing on your truth and stating "X is true and exactly what happened", shift to your perception:
“In my perception X happened."
If you insist on your version of the truth, there isn't much room for flexibility or discussion, and you and the person you're talking to are more likely to get caught up in a debate over who has the correct version of the truth.
Shifting to your perception with phrasing such as "in my perception..." or "the way I experienced it was ..." puts focus on your experience.
This is how a constructive conversation can begin. This way, you take responsibility for your “perception” of the situation and leave room for other perspectives and opinions.
From Intention to Impact
Neither you nor I can read minds. So don't assume I have certain intentions; instead:When you confront someone about something, focus on the consequences rather than making assumptions about their intentions.
Don't say:
"You never wanted to coordinate with us anyway."
Focus on the impact instead:
"The impact of your decision affected our team’s credibility."
You’ll never know for sure what someone’s intention was. Assuming a certain intention undermines your trust from the start and steers the conversation in a negative direction.
By focusing on the impact, you shift the conversation away from personal assumptions and onto a level of emotional intelligence.
From Blame to Contribution
By pointing fingers, you kill any conversation before it even starts and only trigger a defensive reaction.
Move away from instantly blaming someone by saying things like:
“It is all your fault!"
And shift to contribution instead:
„I should have told you we needed to make the decision as a team."
You know exactly where a statement that blames someone else leads. Blaming others is a personal and emotional attack and only leads to defensiveness.
Shift the focus toward shared responsibility. “I share the responsibility. I should have told you that we need to make this decision as a team.”
When you take ownership others will do as well. Instead of defending ourselves or pointing fingers at others, we create space for collective improvement.
Use these 3 simple adjustments to shift your language and to communicate more clearly step-by-step:
Instead of truth, shift to perception.
Instead of intentions, shift to impact.
Instead of blame, shift to contribution.
Das funktioniert übrigens sowohl im privaten als auch im beruflichen Kontext.
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About Me
After more than ten years in the international software and start-up world, I know the pressure to perform in modern careers.
As a systemic coach and reserve soldier, I know how important clear communication, accountability, and trust are for teams to function effectively.
That's why I support teams in skilled trades, construction, and industry to improve their collaboration, resolve conflicts, and rekindle motivation—in a pragmatic, human way and with a passion for development.
Are you ready for the next step?
Whether it is a conflict in your team, a lack of motivation, or communication issues. The first step for change is always a conversation. So let's have one:
We will address your questions in a 15-minute conversation and determine whether and how we can work together.
I look forward to getting to know you!
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