Leading with Emotional Intelligence
- Jakob Hysek
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
What is Emotional Intelligence and why is it important?
A definition of emotional intelligence:
"Emotional Intelligence: the ability to recognize, understand and manage our own emotions as well as recognize, understand and influence emotions of others."Why is it important?
None of us can actually read minds. We do not know what other people are thinking or feeling. Most of the time, we are not even aware of what is going on inside ourselves! But we can change that.
We can be present and aware. We can stay curious and focus on practicing empathy to find out how the other person is really doing.
Connection happens when one person feels heard by another. Think about the last time you met someone new. Probably they told you a story that happened to them.
What was going on in you? Were you listening or trying to come up with a similar story, maybe even topping the one you were just told?
When we do this, we think we are building a bridge. Unfortunately, the opposite happens: The other person feels diminished.
Try to understand and ask questions about the story you were just told. This works best if you try mirroring and labeling:
Repeat the last few words or phrase. Try to label a feeling or emotion you just heard. Here are a few examples:
"Your boss simply interrupted you? It must be frustrating when you are not allowed to finish a thought."
"It feels like this has been weighing on you for a while.”
This leads to two things: First, you will listen better, more attentively and will start to understand and second, the other person will feel heard and understood.
Exercise to Leading with Emotional Intelligence
You can either download the following exercise on Leading with Emotional Intelligence as a worksheet or use the outline in this blog post to work on this topic:
Give each of the following behaviors in the following tables a number between 1 & 5:
1 means “I rarely do this.”
5 means “I do this frequently.”
Behaviors that detract from my emotional intelligence
perfectionist | ||
always stressed | ||
fight change | ||
easily distracted | ||
self-absorbed | ||
act impatiently | ||
motivated strongly by reward | ||
pretend to know more than I do | ||
focus on negatives | ||
won’t set boundaries | ||
focused on own opinion |
The top 3 detractors for me to pay attention to are:
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Behaviors that optimize my emotional intelligence
keep an open mind | ||
balance work & play | ||
embrace change | ||
stay focused | ||
empathetic | ||
stay present | ||
self-motivated | ||
acknowledge personal limitations | ||
focus on the positives | ||
set boundaries | ||
interested in others’ ideas |
The top 3 optimizers for me to emphasize are:
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Summary on Leading with Emotional Intelligence
Connection and trust happen when we feel heard and understood by another. Without connection and trust, teamwork and productive collaboration will be nearly impossible to achieve.
Emotional Intelligence is your ability to figure out, understand and manage your own emotions and those of others.
While this might sound complicated, you can simply try and get better at it by focusing on one to maximal 2-3 behaviors and trying it in low-stakes interactions.
And as always:
Let me know if you need any support!
About Me
After more than ten years in the international software and start-up world, I know the pressure to perform in modern careers.
As a systemic coach and reserve soldier, I know how important clear communication, accountability, and trust are for teams to function effectively.
That's why I support teams in skilled trades, construction, and industry to improve their collaboration, resolve conflicts, and rekindle motivation—in a pragmatic, human way and with a passion for development.
Are you ready for the next step?
Whether it is a conflict in your team, a lack of motivation, or communication issues. The first step for change is always a conversation. So let's have one:
We will address your questions in a 15-minute conversation and determine whether and how we can work together.
I look forward to getting to know you!
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