Stop aspiring - the power of the words we say to ourselves
- Jakob Hysek
- Aug 26
- 3 min read
You can change your inner monologue so you are not limiting yourself, but rather tricking yourself into becoming who you want to be.
“Stop saying you are an aspiring filmmaker. The words we use are really strong. You will never get there if you call yourself someone who is on the journey. Say you are a filmmaker. Make a business card. Then what do you do? You have to conform to your label.”
In Tim Ferriss's Podcast episode "The “Fear-Forward” Way of Life — Filmmaker Robert Rodriguez" Robert Rodriguez shares the story of how someone reminded him about his own wisdom.
It all boils down to the following simple directive:
Stop Aspiring
How did he remember? My favourite example from this short video clip is the following story of Robert's life:
All through high school, people wanted him to be on every (sports) team simply because he was big. But Robert never liked sports. He felt like an artist. He wanted to paint or make music, or write. So he never joined a team and never started working out.
When he was making movies in his mid-thirties, his back would come out and he needed a walker and cortisol shots. A guy, 84 years old in a wheelchair, said to him, “Robert, I’m 84, what’s your excuse? You have to work out!”
But Robert hated sports and did not know how to start or keep up a routine. The next year, he worked with Sylvester Stallone and asked him, “How can I get in better shape?” -“Get a trainer. Anyone who ever got anywhere physically had a trainer.”
Robert still hated working out, but the trainer got him started. However, to change direction completely, you need more. For Robert, this meant changing his inner monologue.
So instead of saying, "I hate sports and hate working out" he started saying:
“I AM AN ATHLETE.”
By the next day, everything changed. Robert made time for working out because he was an athlete. He ate right because he was an athlete.
As soon as you change the label you give yourself and identify with it, you can change the identity you conform to. Robert shares another example that tells the story of how he met an older lady who was a bit sick, coughing a lot and telling him, “My doctor told me I have to stop smoking, so I am not smoking right now.”
He instantly knew she was going to go back to smoking. Her identity was being a smoker, it had not changed. You have to say “I am a non-smoker.”
Then it becomes your identity, the label you give yourself. Smoking makes you sick and you will be able to stop.
You have to check in with yourself, and according to him, it only works when you change direction completely.
How I stopped aspiring
I struggled for some time to introduce myself as a Psychosocial Counselor or Personal Development Coach. I had completed the training, the hours and the certification process.
Yet, somehow, I was hesitant. One day, I decided I needed to change my inner monologue and to proudly present myself publicly for who I am and what I do.
I changed my label when I introduce myself.
It changed my identity and I am certain it will keep affecting my life in the direction I want it to go.
That’s the power of the words we say to ourselves.
So stop aspiring!
Do you like the concept of positive self-talk, but face some hard-to-overcome voices inside you? Do you sometimes struggle to implement a new practice?
No worries, I am here to help:
Are you unsure if we are a fit, or still have some questions or concerns? Let's get to know each other first in a 15-minute conversation.
We will address your questions and figure out if and how we can work together.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
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